Climbing Back On The Wagon

Back and forth and round and round I go. Last summer, when I was really making a conscientious effort to get healthy, I ended up losing 15lbs, in about a month. Which was amazing. Is amazing.

Obviously, since then, I have fallen off the wagon. Several times. Like I mentioned in my last post (9 months ago) its supposed to take 30 days for something to become a habit. So this time, I'm on Day 2. I'm unemployed right now, which means that I have lots of time to do something about it. In fact, instead of looking for a job yesterday (something I hate doing) I went to the gym.

I've been going for walks with my boyfriend a few times a week recently (he can only do low impact exercise since he's currently dealing with a pretty nasty back injury) so when I actually got back in the gym yesterday it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, you know, not having set foot in a gym for longer than I cared to admit to myself.

I need to get serious about this weight loss thing though. I was a size 12-14 but now I'm flirting with a size 16 and that does not feel good any way that you try to look at it. And believe me, I have tried to look at it in many different ways in an effort to try and rationalize myself out of the need to actually face this issue and do something about it.

I can tell myself that I'm big boned all I want, that I'm built like a peasant, that I'm European-sized but the fact of the matter is, I'm fat.

There it is, staring at me in print.

Kind of hurts a little to put it out there but maybe this will be the push that I need to actually do something about it. My hope is that writing it down, putting it out there, will force me to stick with it. Will not enable me to rationalize my way out of going to the gym, or eat a box of cookies. I need to make healthier eating choices (which isn't the biggest struggle honestly, although I do have a wicked sweet tooth), make time for exercise and find a way to force myself onto the scale at least once a week. That's what I did last summer and it was a serious motivator.

I just got back from the gym and I was sweating and hurting and glowing. I felt fantastic. I was actually smiling while I was running (for a minute at a time, baby steps, let's not get crazy) on the treadmill. Clearly this is something that I need to be doing more of.

I hope that you will join me as I fight this battle. Share your stories, egg me on, give me tips! Here's hoping that this time I stay on the wagon. Bring on Day 3!