Clearly this blog project isn't going as well as I had hoped. I have been hopeless at keeping this blog up to date. A list of excuses is running through my head, but I won't insult you by putting any of them up.
I have had bad weeks and good weeks. It seems like I will have a good week (last week I dropped 5lbs) followed immediately by a bad week (this week I gained 3). I think its because I let myself get fooled into thinking that the weight will just drop off without actually doing anything. The week that I lost the 5lbs I couldn't tell myself that it was because I had worked hard, I just kept seeing that I had gone out, been drinking, had only gone to the gym twice etc. So the next week, I told myself that it would still come off, without any hard work. Big mistake.
So I guess the biggest thing that I am having trouble with is consistency. And this should not come as a surprise at all. This has always been the problem with anything that I do.I kind of feel guilty too. The few people that I have chosen to tell that I am trying to lose weight have been really supportive of it. Then I gain weight back and I feel shame.
But every day is a new start right? I just looked at some wedding pictures of a girl I went to highschool with and she looked fantastic. I went to a wedding in the spring of another friend of mine who also looked beautiful. Both girls have lost a substantial amount of weight. And if they can do it, whats stopping me? I'm not getting married or anything, but one day I will and do I really want the pressure of losing weight on top of all the other stresses that go along with a wedding? Probably not.
My boyfriend has decided that after a long year of physio to try and sort out his back, he is ready to start running again. And I am hoping that I will be able to run with him. I think it will be a good thing to do together (and will get rid of one of the obstacles of going to the gym: leaving him at home) and more than that I think it will be easier to have a buddy.
I seem to be the last one that is really working on this weight loss thing. I have several friends that decided to lose the weight and they have all been successful at it. Part of it must be their mindset--I think sometimes I feel like it won't happen before I even start. And this is what I have to change. I seem to have the eating thing down, I take great pride in my ability to say no to cookies and cakes now. I am also fuller a lot sooner into a meal and have been eating smaller portions. But this alone will not allow me to drop the weight. I need to exercise as well. I'm young, it will fall off quickly.
If I stick with it.
So that's my goal for the week: to stick with it. To ignore the little voices piping up with excuses all the time. To put my need to lose weight ahead of spending time with my friends and my boyfriend. I mean, if they can do it on The Biggest Loser, surely I can do it too!
